On a hot June day (but not that hot due to cloud-seeding), DM and Ashok were in the steam room, having a jolly good time. Laughing, they both walked out as a tiny bit of steam escaped through the open glass door.
“Oh cheers man, cheers,” DM said, mocking the white people he worked with.
Tschhhhhhh!
The glass of the windows by the Jacuzzi broke, and what seemed to be the bottom part of a snowman rolled in.
“AAAAAhhhh! Aaaaaaaah!” it screamed, extending out its arms, and lying on its side.
DM and Ashok realised that this was no snowman. It was Amrit, who had burst in through the glass like the heroes in his Netflix shows. Amrit, though, was no flexing hero.
Even now, he lay on his side groaning, trying get off the broken glass but groaning even more. Even though the glass was painful in his side, his natural form was reclining; and so, it was hard to over-ride the signals to his brain that requested lying down rather than getting out of the shards.
“Get up you idiot,” DM said finally, shaking his head. “Why the fuck are you lying down? There’s glass there.”
“Ooooooooh,” Amrit said in his Mickey Mouse voice, finally getting to his feet and straightening his shorts which were not meant to go past his knees but did due to his stature. “You tell me what to do now maa? But you didn’t invite me to this – this boys night!”
“Well we’re not drinking and you’re a drunk,” DM said, shortly.
“Oooooh no invite Amrit cos he’s a druuuunk,” Amrit said, trying to imitate DM but choking because his voice could not go low enough. He kicked at the glass pieces with his small blue shoes that, with the parachute shorts, made his feet look like dots.
“Listen Amrit,” Ashok started, trying to shake the awkwardness.
“Don’t tell maaaa!” Amrit retorted. “I live across the highway. Why you don’t invite maaaa here?”
“I have to fly to Chile-“
“Ooooooh fly to Chile. So one month you shopping?!” Amrit paused to get his breath. “But not shopping today,” he said, looking at the friends.
Ashok straightened his back and made a big decision.
“Listen, I’m going to be a chutya to you Amrit, but why the fuck are you still jobless and breaking in through the window? You need to get a get a job.”
“I trying maaa-“
“Last time you were here trying to sex the Jacuzzi, I told you to go get some cooking gigs.”
“Imma chef ma-“
“You’re really going to need to change Amrit. You just climbed to the top floor of my building and crashed through the windows. Why can’t you put that energy into getting a job?”
“Haard ma-” Amrit said as he kicked a shard, on which he slipped and began falling into the Jacuzzi. “Whaaaamaaaaa!!!”
Ashok without thinking reached out and grabbed the lapel of Amrit’s Airbus Regatta t-shirt that his girlfriend had given to him from work – this was the source of all his possessions these days.
“Aaaaaa leave maaaaaa!” Amrit screamed, not ready for such closeness to Ashok after his anger.
Ashok let go and Amrit began to fall again.
“AAAAAA saaaave maaaa!”
Ashok grabbed the lapel again.
“Aaaaa leave maaaa!”
This happened 3 times until Amrit’s body hit the water like a plucked chicken. As Amrit screamed and gurgled in the water, DM walked away. Ashok considered helping Amrit out of the hot-tub.
Rainbow Kandura 