“Hello,” Kayo sounded slightly dazed when he picked up the phone.
“Where are you right now?” DM demanded.
“I’m stuck in Vancouver man.”
“AAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA.”
“Why does everyone respond like that?”
“Who else responded like that?”
“My colleague in India and some guy from this college I was talking to in Chandigarh.”
“Yeah cos bastard they’re dying in this shit show while you’re there with your CERB and free health care. What the fuck do you want, sympathy?”
“Man I would kill to be back in India. Not Delhi obvs with those animals, but Kerala.”
“Yeah man lungis, rolling joints.”
“Sigh, yeah. Anyway it’s raining so everyone is depressed and shit here.”
“Why is everyone there depressed while wearing short skirts and shorts?”
“Probably because showing all that skin doesn’t lead to meaningful relationships.”
“That’s some sad shit.”
“Yeah…wait someone is coming in with a sort of purpose in the eyes.”
DM knew to put the phone down and wait for a call back.
A white lesbian had walked into the room. Though many in straight cultures get randy at the thought of lesbians as oozing sexuality, there is a sub culture of these folks that have more of a frumpy I-don’t-care-what-society-thinks-of-me look to them. This person fell into this category, wearing a short haircut, plaid shirt and a sleeveless jacket with large-sized jeans.
“Hey so we’re getting the garden going,” she said matter-of-factly. “What do you want to plant?”
“Y’know,” mused Kayo. “In my nakshatram it says I love to play in the garden, but I don’t care much for it.”
“So, nothing?”
“Kale I guess since this is the west coast.”
“Also, can you strategize some ways to stop people from stealing garlic. I’m worried about it.”
Kayo laughed loudly.
“No seriously.”
“What?”
“Yeah, what if someone steals it?”
“Why would anyone steal it?”
“To eat.”
“Like do you mean…poor people?”
“No like with COVID and all, people are hoarding.”
“Hoarding flavour too I guess.”
Kayo, not being a fan of gardening, had no way of knowing that the garlic the woman was worried about would only be coming up in November. It was March.
All of a sudden another woman entered the room – it was the housemate that was friends with Kayo. She has a much kinder demeanour and was noticeably more tanned than her cohort.
“I was thinking of making some chilli again,” she began.
“With organic lemons?” quizzed the other woman.
“Well they do provide a good tang-“
“Aha! You’re planning to use up all the organic lemons.”
“If they get used-“
“I knew it! That’s why I’ve made-” she reached into her sleeveless jacket, “this contract!”
“I er have a work thing to do upstairs,” Kayo excused himself.
As he ran up the stairs, he called DM.
“You’re not going to believe what happened-” he began.
“Man I live in a country where people lose their jobs but can’t go back to India or Pakistan so they’re sitting here sucking cock.”
“Er I guess it isn’t as extreme…”
Rainbow Kandura 